The Strange Rituals Of St Valentine’s Day
We may find it amusing, even engaging – but looked at from the outside, what happens on Valentine’s Day all over the Western world at least, is very strange indeed. As this special interplanetary report confirms…
Anne Sexton, 19 Feb 2010
Valentine’s Day and the Mating Rituals of Homo Sapiens:
Extract taken from the doctoral thesis of Aniye Seesxt and Maari Gerrdu, Department of Comparative Interplanetary Anthropology, University of Plaxtingyn, Cycle 538657
Of all the rituals of the species Homo Sapiens, none appears stranger to Rigellians than the human mating dance. Dr Elyoi Zanzooh’s seminal study, completed in 534457, uncovered six key stages in the human reproductive cycle – dating, kissing, fondling, sex, marriage and breeding. Although these stages do not necessarily occur in a linear progression, Zanzooh found that all six were present in the vast majority of human couplings.
As the scholar Hxiom noted: “The human race, while still primitive, is unique in the way social patterns shift over the course of relatively short periods of time.” The Hxiom Axiom suggests a generational shift occurs approximately every seventy Rigellian cycles or ten Earth years.
As such, undertaking our field trip to the planet Earth in Cycle 538657 we posited that significant changes may have taken place in the human mating ritual between Earth Years 1950 and 2010.
This indeed proved to be the case. Surprisingly, we found that modern humans undertake many aspects of the mating ritual without ever intending to breed! In fact, male-female, male-male and female-female pairs regularly participate in the first four stages without proceeding to the final two. Since Zanzooh’s study, human science has advanced, and a number of contraceptive methods are employed by humans to ensure that breeding is prevented.
Information gleaned from the human data exchange (known as the ‘internet’) suggested that large numbers of humans, particularly in the more polluted northern and western parts of the planet, attach a special mating significance to the solar day February 14. This is called Valentine’s Day. According to ancient Earth lore, Valentine is the patron saint of lovers, beekeepers, epileptics and the plague. Why these are connected in the human mind could not be ascertained and is beyond the scope of this study.
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