Gilligan's island
Can John Gilligan reform the prison economy? Stranger things have happened!
Jason O'Toole, 16 Mar 2009
Notorious crime boss John Gilligan appears eager to give popular economists George Lee and David McWilliams a run for their money! Gilligan has put together a list of cutback measures that, he claims, will enable the prison system to save up to €50million for the country’s depleted coffers, Hot Press can exclusively reveal.
In what’s probably best described as a complete wind-up, Ireland’s most infamous gangster sent me a letter this week outlining some of his fiscal hypothesises on how inmates and prison authorities can play their part in fighting the recession.
“The whole country is in a recession now. There’s basically not enough money and there’s jobs getting lost here and jobs getting lost there. So, we all have to chip in. It’s our patriotic duty. My ideas would lessen the taxpayers’ burden,” proffers Gilligan.
Gilligan insists that the recession isn’t currently being felt in Portlaoise Prison. However, he believes inmates should make a symbolic gesture to their compatriots on the outside by offering to slash their daily allowance in half.
“I tell you what I think – I think all the prisoners should give back a euro a day. I get €2, so why don’t I forgo €1 a day just to help – you know what I mean? I’d cut my daily allowance in half to help lessen the recession. If the politicians are willing to take a pay cut, we’ll take a cut too. But perhaps the politicians should be willing to take a bigger cut than 10%. They should take a cut that’s significant rather than something that’s just a meaningless gesture.”
Gilligan supports the recent opinion poll, which called for a General Election. He believes the electorate should be given the opportunity to vote in a new government, with a fresh mandate to tackle the recession.
“If I had a horse that ran as bad as this government are running things I’d put him out of his misery!” says Gilligan.
As the old adage goes, it takes one to know one – and Gilligan, who was dubbed ‘Factory John’ for his prowess in robbing huge quantities from industrial estates, say he is firmly pointing the finger of blame at the banking sector for the financial crisis.
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