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Stoned Alone

The Family Stone are back to their best – alas, the same can’t be said of their mercurial former leader.

Stuart Clark, 11 Oct 2011

While The Family Stone couldn’t have had their shit any more together a few weeks back at the Electric Picnic, news of their former leader Sly Stone ain’t so good.

According to nyp.st/qYqQJP, the 68 year-old who, it’s fair to say has taken a lot of pharmaceuticals in his time is living in a van on an LA parking-lot. Having sold all his publishing in the ‘80s to Michael Jackson, he’s no income and believes his enemies have hired a hit man to silence him.

Let’s hope that the re-release later in the year of the Coming Back For More: Dance To The Music, if you will, funkumentary revives his fortunes.

Featuring contributions from celebrity admirers like Nile Rodgers and George Clinton, you can watch the trailer at slystonedocumentary.com.

As for the Sly-less Family Stone, their Chatroom interview will be appearing shortly on hotpress.com.

The country that brought you loo-roll dispenser hats for hay fever sufferers and soiled underwear vending machines – see bit.ly/guvxSi and bit.ly/a5AIKq for the pictorial proof – has now invented a new form of extreme body modification whereby saline solution is injected into the face and forehead to produce raised circular patterns.

Find out more about what the Japanese call “bagel-heading” at bit.ly/l6vfpr and definitely don’t try it at home, kids.

From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to nasa.gov/connect/sounds where the celestially-inclined among you can download everything from “Houston, we have a problem” and “The Eagle has landed” to “That’s One Small Step…” and “God speed, John Glenn.”

All are copyright-free to sample, ringtone and app to your heart’s content.

We’re not quite so sure of the provenance of eamondunphysoundboard.com but you’ll have great fun piecing together such classic Eamonisms as, “If that was a concert, you’d boo”, “It’s laughable, Bill” and “Sorry about last week lads, I was talking through my arse.”*

Which just leaves time for quick visits to havetheyfoundgaddafiyet.com (enjoy it while you can): rapstation.com/shows/628/andyoudontstop.html (Chuck D’s most excellent radio show online); and jawbone.com/speakers/jambox/overview (our new favourite gadget).



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