Jake me, I'm yours
Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears is a big hit with pop fans – and also, by the looks of things, with readers of Butt magazine.
Stuart Clark, 11 Jan 2007
"He kisses passionately like a girl in love, but moans like a whore.”
It’s amazing what treasures Google can unearth. I’ve just typed in “Jake Shears, sex life” – for research purposes of course – and been rewarded with a February 2004 article from Butt magazine in which five of his lovers compare coital notes. The Scissor Sisters mainman has stated that nothing ever embarrasses him, but he must be a little red-faced that his bedroom secrets are strewn all over the information superhighway?
“No, not at all,” he beams. “Butt came to me with the idea for the piece and I gave them the names and numbers.”
So, Aubrey, Justin, Ned, Steve and Dominick had Jake’s permission to rate him out of ten?
“Absolutely.”
How much of it is true?
“There are one or two encounters that I remember more or less enthusiastically than they do, but otherwise it’s 99% accurate.”
The one percent being so insignificant that if, say, an Irish rock fortnightly quoted large chunks in their bumper 2006 Annual they wouldn’t be slapped with a big fat libel suit?
“Quote away!”
Where to start? How about Ned recounting when Jake “was really drunk and maybe high on his b-day and started a panty party and later tried to get me to go into a bathtub-size hot tub full of gross and dirty naked men?”
Or his shocking of Dominick with “tit clamps and a remote-control dildo”?
“I like the bits when they’re saying how fabulous I am,” Shears laughs.
Those range from Steve gushing about him having “the hardest prick I’ve ever had my hands on” to Aubrey suggesting that he’s the key to peace in the Middle East: “If this man were to be sent to Iraq, everyone would be fucking and making love, not war!”
Quite. Along with its superb titillation value, Jake’s willingness to have his sex life forensically examined is indicative of somebody who says and does their own thing, and damn the commercial consequences.
“I have two words for people who suggest that we’d sell more records if we toned it down, one of which is ‘off’!” he spits. “If the Scissor Sisters have a message, it’s ‘Be proud of who and what you are, and don’t let assholes spoil the party!’”
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