He who scares wins
They may refuse to play the media game, but whether it’s dating page three models, accepting awards dressed as the Village People or earning the ire of Keith Richards, there’s never a dull moment in the world of Alex Turner and Arctic Monkeys.
Olaf Tyaransen, 26 Apr 2007
Alex Turner, 21-year-old frontman of the Arctic Monkeys, is answering a hotpress question in a clean but featureless dressing room backstage at midsize Liverpool venue the Carlsberg Academy.
“Well, the thing was that we did was... uh... ”
The singer pauses for a moment to rub nothing out of his eye, before continuing his answer. Actually, he doesn’t continue, he goes right back to the start again. “Well, the thing was that we... uh... we... ”
Sighing heavily, he lays his hand flat on the table and examines it carefully, perhaps hoping that the answer will be written on the back of it. “Ah, you see, the thing was... what we did was... aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!”
He places his head against the wall and lightly bangs it a couple of times. “Well, what we did... em... what was your question again?”
Actually, I’ve forgotten it myself at this stage. Welcome to my favourite worst nightmare interview...
It’s the mid-afternoon of Saturday the 14th of April, 2007, and, with a clock quickly ticking towards their soundcheck for tonight’s sold-out gig, I’m attempting to extricate a cover story’s worth of quotes from the four members of the biggest and most exciting new British rock band since Oasis.
Needless to say, this is no easy task. They’re not natural born interviewees. Despite their likeably ludicrous moniker, the Arctic Monkeys don’t chatter. In fact, interviewing them is something akin to having a forced polite conversation with your teenage sister’s friends. In simian terms, with an average age of just 21, these extremely successful rock musicians are practically chimps (though they’re definitely not chumps).
Turner and lead guitarist Jamie Cook look like proper rock stars, all cool hairstyles, mod shirts and skinny hips. In standard rock band tradition, the rhythm section – drummer Matt Hedler and bassist Nick O’Malley – look like a pair of shy counter assistants in a provincial supermarket. Which makes perfect sense because, up until last year, new recruit O’Malley was actually working in a Sheffield Asda.
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