Fry like you mean it
Ordering chips at a high class restaurant can be more fraught than you might imagine. As can posing for a fashion shoot on your fiancé’s table.
Sam Snort, 15 Mar 2007
Samuel J. Snort has quite a lot on his plate this week, but not so much that he won’t make room for a side order of... French fries. Now at least some of you readers are asking yourselves, what the fuck is Samuel on? About?
Well, French fries, obviously. But before the French fries, the French publicity stunt...
This involved a hitherto unheard of young model named Katie French, who had a very public falling out with her fiancé – a Dublin greasy spoon proprietor by the name of Marcus Sweeney.
When Marcus walked in on Katie doing a photo shoot for the Sindo’s Death magazine in his caff, he threw a major wobbler. The tasty Katie was posing in her knickers, causing Marcus to get his own in a twist. Apparently she’d promised him that she was going to give up that sort of modelling (not if Sam has any say in the matter – but I digress!) They staged a screaming match in front of the cameraman, journalist and make-up girls – thereby ensuring maximum publicity in the press.
The engagement was broken off, Sweeney demanded his 50 quid engagement ring back and chucked the brazen hussy out of his bedsit. His nasty text messages were reprinted in the tabloids. Then, just as the story began to die, the unhappy couple were spotted canoodling in Dundrum Shopping Centre, prompting bored journalists to speculate ‘are they getting back together?’
Anyway, the upshot of all of this is that Katie French has now displaced Glenda ‘Eyebrows’ Gilson as Ireland’s top ‘supermodel’. Snort!
Sam always thought that supermodels were underfed creatures, who fronted campaigns by massive fashion houses, graced the covers of magazines like Vogue and Cosmo, and charged at least 10 grand to get out of bed.
In Ireland, however, our ‘supermodels’ grace the covers of yokes like VIP, charge about a hundred quid an hour and are never more than five minutes from St. Stephen’s Green (which appears to be the only location deemed suitable for publicity shots; usually to promote something classy like a new acne cream).
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