If I marry him will he cheat on me?
Or will you, dear lady, cheat on him? It is a perennial concern for any couple as they contemplate the potential pitfalls of tying the knot. In fact the path is littered with so many broken marital promises that it seems like a crazy step to take. And yet for some it retains its romantic allure…
Anne Sexton, 19 Aug 2010
Damien drains his glass, puts it on the bar and turns to me. "Do you want to get married?"
"Not at this very moment," I joke. "Right now I'd prefer a drink."
He rolls his eyes at me and motions to the barman. "I'm being serious."
I try to look chastised. "No."
"Why not?"
I could marshal arguments – that it's an outmoded institute, a patriarchal construct, or that I see no reason to involve the church or state in my personal affairs – but none of those are the real reasons. It's my brother's fault.
I'm seven years old and in the pub with my parents. My mother is sitting down, holding David on her lap. She has a handbag, nappy bag, bottles, soothers and a stroller. Over at the bar my father is with his friends. They are laughing and smoking cigarettes.
"I'm never going to get married," I tell my mother. "Or have babies."
"Why's that?" she asks.
"You have to carry too many things."
Her friends laugh at me, but I'm serious. Marriage looks like a lot of work.
I can't tell Damien this – it's silly. Instead I deflect the question. "Who'd have me?"
"I meant to me," he says.
I nearly choke on my drink. "Are you proposing to me?"
"Yes. But I don't mean now – in the future sometime."
"Is this some scheme to get me to sleep with you?"
"Of course not," he says. "We love one another. We have similar characters, values and backgrounds. We enjoy each other's company. This way we could pool our resources and keep each other company when we're older.
"We're not in love," I point out.
"Look how well that works for most people."
Couples – they all have stories: pain, abuse, disappointment, betrayal, complications, frustrated desires, heartbreak and loss. The truth is, I'm scared – I don't think it's worth the risk.
Michael is in love with Amy; Amy is in love with Michael.
"I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her," he says.
"You haven't told her that, have you?" I ask.
He shakes his head and I let out I sigh of relief.
"Whatever you do, don't," I say. "It wouldn't be fair."
I'm worried about this situation. Michael may be in love with Amy, but he loves his wife Kate too. Someone is going to get hurt – it's unavoidable.
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