Age Of Indifference
Just because older women have a bit of experience under their belts doesn’t mean they have a license to start fondling twenty-something blokes when they're on the town.
Anne Sexton, 11 Aug 2008
I’m sitting in a Dublin superpub and I’m not having a good time. I’ve been dragged here against my better judgement – a friend of a friend’s birthday – and two mojitos and a glass of Champagne can’t disguise the fact that the décor is louder than the music, both of which are rubbish anyway.
Still, I’m here now, so I get down to some multi-tasking: trying to channel a vibe that says I’m much too knowing to be here of my own volition, sipping my drink and checking out the masculine talent. It’s then that I notice the girl gang at the next table.
The girls, glam, tanned and fashionably turned out, are British, half pissed and getting loud. One, a blondie that looks to be the ringleader, has just grabbed the arse of a passing lad. He jumps in surprise, smiles good-naturedly and hurries away. The girls cackle at his expense. And well they might – not one of them will see the right side of 45 again. Here’s to you, Mrs Robinson.
“Cougars,” says Triona and we both nod sagely. “Do you think we’ll end up like that?”
What I want to say is, no, of course not, but both of us have dated more than our fair share of younger men. There’s a good chance we’re cougars-in-training. That’s not a comfortable thought.
I decide to be honest. “It’s possible, but…”
“Yes,” replies Triona, picking up my uneasiness. “But not so… you know...”
“Oompah loompah orange?” I venture.
“That too.” She grabs my mojito, drains the rest of it in one go, and slams the glass back on the table. “C’mon, we need some proper drinks.”
The next day I got thinking – what is it about cougars that unnerve me? It’s not the younger men. Definitely not! I’m all for younger men. Science may say that time isn’t linear, but unfortunately that’s the way it acts. Since I’m going to get older, I appreciate the fact that twentysomething men are often more than happy to shack up with mature ladies. It’s like a sexual pension plan.
However, there’s a difference between women who date younger men and cougars. I call them the hunters and the gatherers. The gatherers have sex with or date younger men because they can. These ladies exude sexual confidence. They look good, dress well and men of all ages find them attractive. They are the real world equivalents of Madonna or Demi Moore. When I grow up, I’d like to be one.
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